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"Lou, Honey, do you shave?" My face? No." Your legs." What?" Do you shave your legs?" No..." Can I... ?" Marlene waved at his sweatpants. Lou blinked and lifted the leg as far as bunching the cloth would go. "Point your toe, Honey." Lou, totally lost, did so. "Nice calf." Thanks?" Where was she going with this?Kitty eyed the leg, looked thoughtful, looked at his face, then put her hand out to run it through his hair at the temple, pushing it back. Emmylou suddenly snickered. Marlene eyed him and asked, "Honey, have you ever worn nylons?"Lou goggled, nonplussed. "No -- I'm a..." Then he shut up. He was a guy, right?"We need a girl for the competition," Marlene said quietly. "Want to try out?"Lou, dazed, asked, "Is this what it sounds like?" If it sounds like we're going to be trying out lipstick shades on you, then, yes, Honey, that's it..." Marlene replied.Fuck! "Nobody can know," he croaked. "Nobody!" Of course, Honey! If someone found out, we'd be disqualified!" Marlene cocked her. We had no kids and I'm not really sure why westayed married other than inertia. Now, I had woken up in some bizarre,scary yet oddly pleasant universe. Anyway, I patted myself dry and wentto get ready for work. Well, first, I needed to figure out who I was,what I did and where I went to do it. I saw a purse on what I guessedwas my dresser and rummaged through it."What're you looking for?" asked my shower buddy, as he headed into thebathroom.'Think fast,' I thought. "My Metrocard," I said."Oh, here it is."And there it was, along with a business card case and my/Jessie'sdriver's license. The license read "Jessica R. Silverman, height 5'6",eyes blue (I knew that) and date of birth Nov. 6, 1968." Well, whoeverJessica Silverman was, she and I shared the same birthday. Next, thebusiness card case. Voila, a business card."Oh, shit," I thought.The card read, "Jessica R. Silverman, Attorney, Sagman, Bennett,Roberts, Oppenheim, & Taft." Apparently I still worked at the samefirm. I hated my job..
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